The lesson I learned…
Focus on the bad.
I thought the key to happiness was getting rid of the negative.
The junk from your past.
The annoying stuff in life that you don’t want to deal with.
The things that make you sad, or mad, or disappointed, or hurt, or embarrassed, or disrespected.
When you go to a therapist, you talk about your problems.
You examine your past.
How you got here.
What made you, you.
What brought you to this moment in time.
All the things you need to get over or let go of,
so that you can be happy,
or at least stop being unhappy.
Fix the bad,
so you can get to the good.
The problem is that the bad is your focus.
The problems receive all of your energy.
You spend your time thinking about all you need to release, fix, or improve.
Where your thoughts go, your feelings follow, and then your behaviors, and ultimately your outcomes.
The negative is navigating your life.
Overcoming the lesson…
In my quest for a better life, one that I was actually excited to live, I started implementing practices that were positive by nature.
Things like gratitude, mindfulness, and service to others.
At first, I didn’t pay attention to the positive charge of these behaviors.
I didn’t recognize that I was using my energy in positive ways instead of negative.
Then, I started paying a lot of attention.
I paid attention to what I was focusing on.
Where my energy was flowing.
How it felt.
And I noticed that when I brought positivity into my life,
it greatly increased the positive and started to make the negative stuff that I'd spent my life trying to deal with less important,
like, way less important,
You can’t be grateful and pained at the same time.
You can't be living in the moment and regretting the past at the same time.
You can't be helping someone in need and feel you have no purpose at the same time.
You can't be doing something you love and hating life at the same time.
At that moment, it’s one or the other.
When I focused my energy on bringing good things to my life, like fun hobbies, creativity, the pursuit of helping others, and positive connections, life started to look a lot brighter.
I didn’t realize that I had been dimming my light until it started to shine brightly.
I’m not suggesting you ignore your problems.
But I believe that your problems may become easier to deal with if you focus your attention on making your life one that you are happy to live, one that brings you joy.
Because that is what you have direct control over.
You can’t change the past.
But you can control your actions in the present,
with the direction of your thoughts
and how you spend your energy.
Make it positive.
Shine your light.
Until next time...