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Two-faced

Updated: Jul 11, 2021

The lesson I learned…


Your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors must always be steady. There is a black and a white. Choose one and stick with it.


I’m a Gemini. I have twins living inside of me. I am an Enneagram Six. By definition, a contradictory personality, a bundle of opposites.


I see both sides of almost every situation.


I am my own devil’s advocate.


I am a walking contradiction.


I am one thing one minute and something else the next.


When someone explains something to me, I see their side of it.

And then I see the other side equally as clear.


I’m not playing both sides.

I get both sides.


I can’t be consistent in every thought, feeling, and behavior.


It used to make me feel like a fraud.

Wishy-washy.

Like I couldn’t be relied on.

Like I couldn’t be trusted.


Overcoming the lesson…


I learned to trust myself.


This is who I am.


I am inconsistent.

But…

I consistently care.

I consistently listen.

I consistently try to understand.

I consistently want to understand.

I consistently give it thought and consideration.

I consistently create space for new thoughts and ideas.


If you don’t like that I can be swayed,

I’m sorry, but it’s not something I’m going to change.


If you don't like that I can be one thing and its opposite,

I'm sorry, but it's not something I'm going to change.


If you don’t like that there are inconsistencies in the way I live my life,

I’m sorry, but it’s not something I’m going to change.


I no longer believe life is black and white.


I might disagree with you today.

And agree on the same point tomorrow.


I may contradict myself a million times.


It doesn’t mean that I’m full of shit.


It means that I’m open.


It means that I appreciate the gray.


Some find it hard to take.


They can’t make sense of me.


I say, stop trying to make sense of me.


I make sense to myself.


And, respectfully, that’s what matters.


Until next time…

Michele





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