The lesson I learned…
Your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors must always be steady. There is a black and a white. Choose one and stick with it.
I’m a Gemini. I have twins living inside of me. I am an Enneagram Six. By definition, a contradictory personality, a bundle of opposites.
I see both sides of almost every situation.
I am my own devil’s advocate.
I am a walking contradiction.
I am one thing one minute and something else the next.
When someone explains something to me, I see their side of it.
And then I see the other side equally as clear.
I’m not playing both sides.
I get both sides.
I can’t be consistent in every thought, feeling, and behavior.
It used to make me feel like a fraud.
Wishy-washy.
Like I couldn’t be relied on.
Like I couldn’t be trusted.
Overcoming the lesson…
I learned to trust myself.
This is who I am.
I am inconsistent.
But…
I consistently care.
I consistently listen.
I consistently try to understand.
I consistently want to understand.
I consistently give it thought and consideration.
I consistently create space for new thoughts and ideas.
If you don’t like that I can be swayed,
I’m sorry, but it’s not something I’m going to change.
If you don't like that I can be one thing and its opposite,
I'm sorry, but it's not something I'm going to change.
If you don’t like that there are inconsistencies in the way I live my life,
I’m sorry, but it’s not something I’m going to change.
I no longer believe life is black and white.
I might disagree with you today.
And agree on the same point tomorrow.
I may contradict myself a million times.
It doesn’t mean that I’m full of shit.
It means that I’m open.
It means that I appreciate the gray.
Some find it hard to take.
They can’t make sense of me.
I say, stop trying to make sense of me.
I make sense to myself.
And, respectfully, that’s what matters.
Until next time…
Michele
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