A Journey From Guilt to Freedom

A Whispers from my Wild Soul Post

For years, alcohol wasn’t just my companion—it was a balm for my pain, but it only made things worse.

I drank every day, and with every glass, the guilt and shame grew heavier.

Instead of easing my fears, drinking fed them, trapping me in a cycle of self-loathing.

I constantly worried about my kids, about myself, and what this all meant for our future. I knew I had a problem, but I couldn't imagine myself quitting.

I’d often think, during another evening of wine, that maybe I should get help. I'd even Google local resources. But by the next morning, the shame would have loosened its grip, and any notion of getting help was gone, until the next time.

No one around me seemed to sense a problem. I honestly waited for it. The hard but loving talk. It never came. I guess I did too good of a job hiding it - the daily dependence, the effect it had on me, the pain, and the shame. No one pushed me to get help, so I didn't push myself.

But one day, something changed. I was looking for something to read, and I stumbled across This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. It started as just something to occupy my time. I had no idea it would become the catalyst for everything. By the time I finished reading, I knew deep in my soul that I would never pick up another drink again. What I didn't know was how deeply this choice would change my life.

What releasing alcohol opened up for me is nothing short of miraculous. For the first time, I began to feel my way through the pain instead of numbing it.

This was the foundation of my healing and spiritual growth. It created the space I desperately needed to step into my true self, to embrace my intuition, and to discover Reiki and other forms of energy work.

Sobriety wasn’t just about saying no to alcohol—it was about saying yes to myself. It freed me from the shackles of guilt and shame, giving me the mental and emotional space to build my own business. I stopped hiding behind the mask of drunkenness and started running—literally and figuratively. I no longer spilled my sorrowful guts only to regret it the next day. I learned how to be me. The real me.

Now, as I sit by the campfire, sipping on my Spindrift, I realize how far I’ve come. There are still moments when I miss a glass of wine, but those feelings pass quickly.

What I’ve gained from releasing alcohol—clarity, peace, and freedom—is so much greater than anything alcohol ever offered me.

It’s funny how I once feared that my life would lose its fun without drinking. But now, I see that alcohol wasn’t making things fun—it was weighing me down. It was burying me alive.

Letting go of alcohol was one of the most empowering things I’ve ever done. It gave me the courage to make other bold choices that both scared and intrigued me.

Now, I ask you: Is there something in your life that you’re holding on to out of fear? Maybe it’s a coping mechanism that’s helped you survive, but deep down, you know it’s time to release it. What would your life look like if you let it go? What might open up for you if you were willing to step into the unknown and see what’s on the other side? I promise you, the world may be bigger and brighter than you can imagine.

Whispers from My Wild Soul

A blog series of soul remembering, healing, and transformation

These are the quiet truths that rise up when we slow down.

Reflections from the threshold of midlife, where the old stories begin to fall away and the wild soul stirs awake.

Here, I write from the heart—about crone wisdom, spiritual awakening, and the rituals that root me to the Earth and to myself.

These whispers are an invitation to return home to your own wise, wild soul.