Will it ever get better than this? I can’t live like this for the rest of my life. Why is it always so hard? Will it ever get easier? When will my time come? I can’t take this anymore. Something has to give. It's too much for me to handle.
I once lived in the dark.
Maybe you are there right now?
Maybe, right now, your nerves are frayed. Your heart is bruised. You feel raw and exposed. You want to crawl out of your skin. Your thoughts are dark. And it all hurts.
I need you to know…
You don’t have to stay there.
It won’t be easy, but you can leave.
I invite you to leave.
Leaving will be the best thing you will ever do.
And…
Those that once lived in the dark shine the brightest in the light.
Understanding life in the dark provides the truest appreciation for the light.
And, you, my dear friend, are a light worker; unaware, for the time being, for every light worker was first intimate with the dark.
If you are currently in the dark, don’t lose hope. The light is waiting for you. But only you can decide that it’s time. You have to choose to leave the darkness and head towards the light. If you want to find the light, you must heal, and to heal, you have to decide to heal.
Once you have decided to heal, be prepared. It’s not an easy journey. You will straddle light and dark. You will experience intense periods of time in each. It will make you feel like you’re going crazy. You will want to quit. You will think it’s unfair that you have to go through all of this. You will rage, fall deeper than you thought possible, and then rise higher than you could ever imagine. You will wonder if you have the strength to keep going. You will wonder how it is that you’re able to keep going. You will break apart and mend and think you’re healed, only to find out that it was a surface wound. You will feel elated again and again, only to be pulled back into the depths of darkness over and over. You will feel like a rickety old rowboat in the middle of a violent ocean, barely able to survive the storm. You will be sick, and tired, and worn out.
But, you will have faith, and you will keep going because you know it's leading you to a better place. You now know you are so much stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for. You can and will survive this.
You will be greeted by those there to help you on your journey through the darkness. Welcome them. They will help you heal. They will save your life. They will show you the light as many times as you need them to. They will continue to appear in many different forms, addressing each and every wound. Keep saying yes. Keep allowing them in. Keep going.
Eventually, facing your pain will almost become pleasant because each time you face it, you know you can heal it. Your darkest thoughts will roll off of your tongue and out into the light, where they can be challenged by the light. Battles will ensue. There will be resistance. It will be messy, but with each faceoff, you will become stronger, braver, and more confident. Finally, you will know that you can do this. An end is in sight.
You will start to like yourself; then, you will begin to love yourself. How can you not? Look at what you’ve done. You are fierce. You are slaying dragons. You are doing it for yourself and every generation that comes after you. You are healing past generations. How can you not take pride? You will glow from within. You will reignite the light that lives inside of you. That light will eventually shine so brightly that you will wonder how it was ever covered in darkness. And then comes the appreciation.
You will find the value in your darkness. You will come to respect it. You will know that your time in the dark provided that most brilliant and loving light for you. You will come to realize it was there all along, and you will be grateful to be reunited with it. You will recognize the journey back to it as a gift. And then you will share that gift with others. Those that dwelled in the dark and then found the light always turn around and help others do the same. Your purpose will become clear. You will know that you had to go through all you went through. There was no other way. And what began as your greatest sorrow will become your greatest triumph. You overcame the darkness. And you now lovingly, bravely, proudly shine your light, and you can’t imagine your life any other way.
Until next time…
Michele