Do you ever feel like you are total bullshit?
I have had such a block when it comes to writing lately.
I sit down, fingers on keys, and I either experience a big, fat nothing or scramble for a few lines and think no one wants to read this crap.
I feel unrelatable right now.
I’ve been in this period of transformation.
I forgot how uncomfortable growth is.
I forgot how raw and insecure it could make you feel.
Let me back up a bit. I went through an enormous period of growth and transformation a couple of years ago, during an exceptionally painful part of my life. I think the pain of the growth was hidden amid the pain of my experiences. When I came out on the other side, there was relief disguised as the passing of time away from the traumas.
This time, there has been nothing to mask the pain of transformation. I have felt every second of remembering and shedding and evolving.
And it sucks.
I feel like the messy goo of the transitioning caterpillar right now.
I got to experience life as the butterfly, briefly. It was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I thought I had made it. Now I realize I was gifted that glimpse to help me keep going—eye on the prize kind of thing.
Why am I telling you all this?
I imagine that some of you are in the messy goo of growth right now. I want you to know you are not alone. Your pain and your discomfort are normal.
We are letting go of beliefs that we have carried with us our whole lives.
We are adopting new ways of thinking.
We are saying goodbye to pieces of us that have been pieces of us forever.
None of that is easy.
Change is hard.
But worth it. Because someday we will be on the other side of it, and we will be better for it.
If you don’t stick it out now, you stay stuck. Stuck is a life sentence.
Whatever pain you are experiencing right now from your period of growth, imagine not experiencing it but staying where you are for the rest of your life.
Would you carry on?
Will you carry on?
Remember, this kind of pain is temporary.
The pain of staying the same because it’s comfortable and doesn’t challenge you is forever.
Step outside of your comfort zone and stay there until it becomes comfortable. It will eventually.
You are really strong. You’ve made it this far. I know you have the strength to keep going.
You are a fighter.
Keep fighting. You got this.
I’ll celebrate with you on the other side.
Until next time...