The Question of Worth

michelederosa
Aug 29
3 min read

Sanctuary Dispatch | Friday Reflections from the Wild Path

The Soft Rebellion

What provides your worth? Why are you valuable?

Sit with that for a moment. Notice what rises.

Maybe you thought of being a good mother.

Maybe you thought of how much you care for others.

Maybe you thought of your hard work, your reliability, your ability to keep it all together.

You’re not alone. These are the answers most women I know reach for. And they aren’t random. They’re the script we’ve been handed.

My Own Conditioning

My coach asked me this question a while back, and I fell right into the trap.

I answered with motherhood, responsibility, productivity, and reliability. I thought my worth lived in how much I could give, endure, and produce.

I believed I couldn’t rest. If I took a nap, I felt like I had to excuse it, prove I had earned it.

My motherhood was tied tightly to my sense of value, but I constantly felt like I wasn’t doing it “well enough,” which only fed my feelings of low self-worth.

In the workplace, I believed my worth was in my productivity. I was proud of showing up even when I was sick, even when I was drained. I worked almost right up until the birth of my second child. I believed my reliability and my ability to go above and beyond proved that I mattered.

And in the eyes of patriarchy, it did.

But that’s exactly the problem.

The Patriarchal Playbook

If you place my answers — and perhaps yours, too — next to the tenets of patriarchy, they match almost perfectly:

Patriarchy says: A woman’s worth is tied to service.→ We answer: “I’m a good mom. I take care of everyone.”
Patriarchy says: Self-sacrifice is virtuous.→ We answer: “I put everyone else first.”
Patriarchy says: Productivity equals proof of value.→ We answer: “I work hard. I don’t stop. I go above and beyond.”
Patriarchy says: Quiet endurance is strength.→ We answer: “I don’t complain. I just keep going.”

The overlap is undeniable.

That’s not coincidence — it’s conditioning.

The Cost of the Lie

The trouble with measuring our worth this way is that it’s never enough.

Work yourself to exhaustion, and still wonder if you should have done more.
Mother your children with all your heart, and still feel like you’re failing.
Endure silently, and still feel unseen.

Patriarchy’s metric of worth is a rigged game. The more you give, the more it demands. The finish line always moves.

The Liberation

Here’s the radical truth:

Your worth doesn’t live in your service, your sacrifice, your endurance, or your productivity.

It doesn’t live in how much you give away or how much you hold together.

Your worth isn’t something you earn at all.

It’s something you are.

It’s older than patriarchy.

It’s deeper than culture.

It lives in your bones, your breath, your being.

The Soft Rebellion

And this is where rebellion begins.

Not with proving, not with striving, but with refusal.

With resting without apology.

With believing you are valuable even when you’re not producing.

With choosing joy over sacrifice.

This is the quiet revolution patriarchy never wanted us to make — because women who know their inherent worth cannot be controlled.

The Invitation

This is the work I do. In sessions, in ritual, in the spaces I hold, we untangle the old lies. We return to what has always been true: that your worth is inherent, undeniable, unshakable.

If you’re tired of proving, tired of exhausting yourself for a system that will never be satisfied, come work with me. Let’s reclaim the wild truth of your worth — and begin building a life that honors it.

If you’re ready to dismantle these beliefs within yourself, I invite you into my Sacred Alignment Sessions for personal reclamation. And, if you're ready to stand shoulder to shoulder with other women doing the same, I invite you into The Soft Rebellion for collective action. Because your worth is not only personal medicine, it’s the foundation of a movement.

Sanctuary Dispatch

Friday Reflections from the Wild Path

This is where the personal meets the political, and care becomes a form of resistance.

Each dispatch is part of The Soft Rebellion—a movement rooted in clear seeing, collective care, and the courage to act.

These reflections rise from the ground we stand on, and ripple through The Soft Rebellion: Local Chapter in Metro Northwest Massachusetts.

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