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michelederosa

A dirty 4-letter word

H-E-L-P


Am I the only one who finds it so difficult to ask for help?


Yesterday, my coach asked me why I feel so uneasy asking for help. My answer was that I am supposed to be able to do it all on my own. That’s where my value comes from; taking care of everything.


“Where did that idea come from?” she asked.


“It’s generational,” I replied.


She followed up, “how has that served them?”


“Not well at all” was my response.


As I think about it more, I know that control also plays a huge part. I find it nearly impossible to surrender. To let go. I physically and mentally grip everything with an iron fist, and at times of stress, I grip even harder, which then contributes to even more stress.


I know it’s time to release the belief that my value comes from what I provide.


I know it’s time to rely on others and give up some control.


I know it’s time to loosen my grip and surrender.


But how?


I took a small step yesterday. Just a whisper from me to my angels. “I need help.” That was it. Plain and simple. “I need help.”


I think I have mentioned before that I am terrible at saying “no” and setting boundaries, and I have way overcommitted myself at the moment. Truthfully, I am drowning, and it’s causing a whole host of issues for me - physically, mentally, and emotionally.


So, I asked those that watch over me to please help me. Then, I let go. I mean, what else can you do at that moment? You’ve asked the spiritual beings that look out for you to help you. You just have to wait and see what happens next. If spirit guides aren’t your thing, insert any higher power here. If you don't believe in a higher power, a trusted friend, family member, mentor, or teacher.


After finishing work, I needed to race home and grab my kids to drive 45 minutes to dentist appointments for all three of us. Traveling 45 minutes to see the dentist may seem silly, but we have been with them since we lived nearby, and we love them. Anyway, I got home and broke into tears at the thought of the next 3+ hours of this day that I already desperately wanted to end. Uncontrollable tears. All my defenses crumbled, and I just couldn’t hold back. Did I mention how overwhelmed I am at the moment?


My husband saw my despair and volunteered to take my appointment since he needed his teeth cleaned and didn’t have an appointment. So, he would take the kids, and I could relax. It was so very considerate of him, and, at that moment, it felt lifesaving. But, I don’t always view it as such. This is the moment when I usually say, “no, I’ll be fine,” and push myself to do what I need to do. Yesterday, though, I didn’t have the strength. So, I said, “ok.”


When he phoned the dentist to make the switch, they said they had our appointments for Tuesday, March 8th, not Tuesday, February 8th.


Would you consider this help from the Universe? I did. “Thank you, my angels.”


Then, last night, inspired by my divine intervention, when Maddie asked me if I had any tips for getting a good night’s sleep because she hadn’t been sleeping very well lately, I shared my story with her and told her she could ask her angels.


So, she did. She asked them please for a good night’s rest. Then, she let go. She didn’t try to force a good night’s sleep. She didn’t worry about getting a good night’s sleep. Instead, she surrendered to a good night’s sleep.


I checked in with her this morning, and she confirmed that she had an amazing night’s sleep.


Is it really that easy?


Imagine if it could be that easy?


I need help. Then, surrender.


Three simple words.


I need help. Then, let go.


The more I say it, the more it seems to roll off the tongue.


I need help.


The more I let go, the easier it all seems to get. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of surrendering is terrifying to me, but it’s also exhilarating.


I think it might be worth it.


Let's give it a try, okay?


Until next time…

Michele



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