From Enduring to Breaking and Putting Myself Back Together

The lesson I learned…

Take it all on, and hold yourself together. Don't drop anything, and make sure you do not crumble under the weight.

One of my mother’s favorite sayings when I was growing up was, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I heard it whenever I was going through a difficult time or juggling too many things at once.

I loathed this saying. I equated it to buck up and quit whining. You're fine; hold it together and be stronger. Withstand more, carry more, and never let it break you.

I believed my worth was tied to how much I could endure.

I wanted permission not to have to handle it all. I was so afraid to drop a ball. I kept piling them up, those things that didn’t kill me and apparently were making me stronger.

Overcoming the lesson…

In 2020, I broke.

I was handed more than I could carry.

I broke,

but I didn’t shatter.

I broke, and I put myself back together. Even stronger. I left out the pieces that no longer served me and replaced them with new and improved pieces.

Now I decide what deserves space in my life and what doesn't, based on what is right for me, not what is handed to me.

I broke and now I determine what I want to carry and what I don't.

I stopped carrying it all and started carrying only what makes sense to carry.

I am grateful for breaking.

It made me stronger.

Until next time…

Michele